ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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