Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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