Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
