It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
