the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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