how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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