i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
