Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it because I queefed?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
