I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i dont even know how to be here
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
