If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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