they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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