This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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