don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
