using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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