Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
