and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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