Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
