Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
