So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
