So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
