I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
