I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
