I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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