omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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