Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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