Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
