Me too!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
