and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
