Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
