Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
