You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
