he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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