We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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