Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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