woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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