i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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