phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Can I color on your dick again?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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