ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
