Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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