You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
