You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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