VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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