help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize