final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
