You don't have asthma, your pregnant
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
