Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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