I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
