I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
