You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
