Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
