sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
