So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
