I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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