Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have post one night stand depression
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
