i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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