So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
