It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
