I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
