why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
