We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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