if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
