he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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