Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
