If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize