He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
