then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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