if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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