That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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