There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
