I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
